My Purpose

Writing an about me section is a difficult task. Our lives can never be adequately described in a few short paragraphs. We all wear a thousand different hats throughout our lifetime. We experience joy and pain and lots of days that are just ordinary. The most joyful days make us feel like we are floating on air. We never want them to end, but inevitably they do. In the best possible scenario, they are replaced with everyday life filled with happy moments and ordinary tasks. Unfortunately, sometimes those joyful days are replaced with indescribable pain that sends us down a spiral of grief, despair, and loneliness that feels as if we will never again see the light of hope, joy, and peace.

While it can be helpful during those dark times to remember the joyful days and the good things with which we have been blessed, the need to feel, to grieve, to face our pain and walk through it, cannot be underestimated. This is the healing journey I have been on for the last few years. It has been difficult and messy, full of questions, and excruciatingly painful at times. It is a road that I have had to walk mostly alone. I would never wish what I’ve been through on anyone, yet I know that far too many have had to walk (or are currently walking) a similar path.

As I write about my experiences and the things I’ve learned along the way, I hope that it will help you on your own journey. I hope that it will help you to see that there is indeed a light at the end of your tunnel and that you can have healing, peace, and even joy again. That is the point of this blog. If it can help even one person, it will have been well worth it.

About Me

Before anything else, I am mom to 9 amazingly unique and wonderful children, created in God’s image, each designed to fulfill a specific role in this crazy world. I spent 327 weeks pregnant, somewhere over 17 years nursing babies and toddlers, and changed countless diapers, and I wouldn’t trade a single day of it for anything.

I am a perpetual student and have a passion for learning. That passion, combined with a desperate need to find answers to difficult situations in my life, has led me to an interest in psychology and MBTI. Over the years, I have learned much on my own, and I am now more than halfway through my bachelor’s degree in psychology with the end goal of starting a career as a professional counselor.

From the time I was a little girl, my faith has been one of the most important things in my life, and my relationship with Jesus central to everything I do. Ministry was my life for a long time. I was the daughter of a pastor, and I was a youth and young adult co-pastor (along with my former husband) at my dad’s church for 14 years. When we started attending a much larger church, I slowly got involved, helping with administrative work in children’s ministry, writing for an apologetics blog for 3 years, and helping in youth ministry. After experiencing multi-layered trauma, my children and I watched church services online for a couple of years and are now searching for a way to have a community of believers without the triggers that are far too prevalent in evangelical Christianity.

I am currently in a time of deconstruction/reconstruction of my faith, and I believe that some of my children would say the same. Throughout this time, I have found connection and understanding on social media that has been sparse in real life. I have learned and grown tremendously, changed my mind on a lot of things, and am continuing in the work of pursuing truth and critical thinking in all areas of my life. At times, this causes some confusion, but I have learned to be okay with not feeling a need to have all of the answers.

Follow me on social media:

Facebook @cindykoenwriter

Instagram & Threads @cindykoen.writer

X (Twitter) @koen_cindy

Medium member since October 2023
Cindy Koen

Doing my best to follow the Jesus while deconstructing from the toxic, man-made parts of Christianity. Read more at cindykoen.com.